Asertividad con flexibilidad

Asertividad con flexibilidad¿Te has planteado alguna vez el reto de ser asertivo?

Seguro que en muchas ocasiones incluso te has definido como tal, aunque no hayas sido totalmente consciente de tu modo de expresarte y actuar.

Asertividad se asocia a expresar de forma equilibrada tus opiniones, sin negar, discutir o rebatir otros argumentos, se trata de exponer una opinión de forma objetiva y neutral, respetando a los demás y sus opiniones. Este comportamiento se sitúa entre los dos extremos que delimitan la comunicación basada en la exposición y defensa de nuestras ideas y/o creencias, la pasividad en el lado de la mínima defensa y la agresividad como defensa desmedida. Según todo lo anterior ¿cómo te has expresado en tus “momentos asertivos”?

La realidad es muy distinta cuando realmente la observamos, no cuando la interpretamos basada en nuestros recuerdos, que no dejan de ser percepciones propias de lo pasado, por tanto, el mejor análisis de nuestro comportamiento es el que otros hacen de él, aunque en muchas ocasiones no coincida con nuestra opinión.

Si nos definimos asertivos debemos conocer al menos el significado de esta palabra, según la Real Academia Española, en su Diccionario de la Lengua Española, dicho significado en lo relativo a una persona es: “Que expresa su opinión de manera firme”.

Si consultamos en la misma fuente la definición de firme, obtenemos, entre otras, las siguientes definiciones: “Estable, fuerte, que no se mueve ni vacila.” y “Entero, constante, que no se deja dominar ni abatir. “, las cuales no dejan de reforzar la cualidad de firmeza como falta de flexibilidad.

Por todo lo anterior, si en nuestra comunicación únicamente nos hemos basado en el significado anterior del término, posiblemente nuestra firmeza de convicción y nuestra falta de flexibilidad haya tenido como resultado una total comprensión de nuestra opinión y posicionamiento acerca del tema tratado por parte de nuestro interlocutor, lo cual puede ser un éxito en términos de comunicación, siempre que el objetivo de la misma no esté basado en obtener un acuerdo, el cual demanda flexibilidad.

Plantear nuestras ideas es muy importante para establecer nuestros criterios y línea de pensamiento, pero establecer una relación interpersonal caracterizada por el mutuo beneficio requiere alcanzar una conexión que en la mayor parte de los casos supone la flexibilización de las opiniones propias y ajenas, perfilando la que será la opinión común, dicho de otra forma, el acuerdo.

El acuerdo basado en el respeto no está reñido con la discusión y la crítica, siempre que el objetivo de la comunicación sea exponer los criterios y hechos que avalan nuestras ideas y opiniones y enfrentarlos con los de nuestro interlocutor para analizarlos conjuntamente. Enriquecer nuestras opiniones se basa en analizar objetiva y conscientemente lo que planteamos, permitiendo que las opiniones de otros puedan formar parte de nuestros planteamientos futuros, es decir, aceptar el compromiso personal de buscar los puntos de mejora mediante un proceso de autoconocimiento, autocrítica y evolución ¿así de asertivo has sido?

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